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Break Up Survival Guide – Tips to Get Back Together Again
It is the phase we call COOLING OFF. Very wisely you have decided to wait a month before doing anything to make up, and you have to decide how to handle the break up (i.e. YOURSELF) for just now. Remember that depression is your worst enemy right now. Also with fall and winter approaching you will have to have a few aces up your sleeve to avoid depression. You could be prone to seasonal affective disorder (SAD) even in normal circumstances so all the more reason to start being active. Exercise is the great cure here especially if you can do it in the open air and the weather is not too awful.
To avoid falling into the depression trap, here is some advice :-
Try NOT to sleep all the time - sure sign anyway that you are already in a pre-depression phase. If you feel the need to talk about the break up with your friends – DON’T !. You will have even fewer friends if you go on like that ! TRY NOT to stay off work- this could be your lifeline - on the contrary you could start getting really involved - you might even get promotion. By throwing yourself into work you can forget more easily. DON’T sulk and mooch around the house - accept all the invitations you can and socialise.
Here are some of the things you CAN do so that none of the above will happen and make you miserable and depressed.
PHONE your old friends that you and your ex neglected because you were having such a great time – if you are not too embarrassed. You can take up an old sport or hobby that you used to do. That will help you to focus on something positive and you might make some new friends - helps to keep you from brooding. One of my friends did that and I am really amazed at how active he became – new dates, old friends, socialising – the lot. It really helped him.
Start getting up early - go back to the gym and start doing all the things that you probably neglected but make sure that they are the things that you like doing.
But there will be one thing that will constantly plague you during this period and that will be the NEGATIVE feelings and emotions which will make life very painful for especially during this initial period of the break up.
There is a method outlined in the link below which consists of five easy steps you ask yourself every time you experience a negative painful feeling. Once you master this technique you will notice as the days pass that healing is taking place . You will need to do a few sessions a day and each session will consist of five or six repetitions.
To discover exactly how to do this technique and above all learn the strategies which will help you to handle a break up successfully - the bottom line is that you will get your ex back - look at the link below.
Mark L. Robertson writes on dating and relationships. Discover the five easy steps. He recommends The Magic of Making Up
More infomation at WikipediaBest Way to Handle a Breakup
If you really want to get your ex back, you will probably need a step by step formula to help you think through some basic strategies to win back your ex.
Accept The Break Up ??
I don’t have to tell you that making the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Mourning the end of the relationship is the first step. One of the best things you can do is to accept the break up. But that is just the beginning because most relationships can be salvaged from the wreckage. You next step will be to try and start afresh. That means basically writing a short letter agreeing that it was the right thing to do to break up. An admission of defeat ? On the contrary, this is just the beginning. You do not even have to be full of recriminations or bitterness or even jealousy. Time to stay cool. Most of the books available on getting your ex back will tell you to start examining your own conscience and to play a waiting game and not do anything for a while. They charge you a lot for telling you that as well!
Stop SUFFERING !
Letting go of someone you love is the most painful feelings human beings can experience. It means losing love, and love is the highest form of happiness known to mankind. Time to get it back. You could be leading a normal existence again without the worry of depression, binge eating or sleepless nights.
Yes This Relationship Can Be Saved !
Can he/she give you the love passion and joy of a stable loving relationship? Was it really like that? You know more than anyone else if it really was like that. You know that you had a lot going and it was not one-sided. You have the proof.It was NOT a relationship that just fizzled out because both sides felt completely indifferent - well if it was like that, then the relationship cannot be saved. If the answer though is YES, then time to get your ex back. What do you need to do to restore the broken bonds and what you have to do to heal the wounds? Think of all the reasons why he/she is your ex and how you came to arrive at this point. Then start planning your overall strategy because you CAN save the relationship. Think positive !
Strategies To GET YOUR EX BACK
In the link below you will discover a few simple techniques that will get your ex back. They will form part of an overall strategy. You will learn how to get your ex to return your call or test message. You will learn how to look after yourself, how to make a plan and stick to it. There are also some tips on arousing curiosity (rather than resentment) which will help you to get back together again.
Mark L. Robertson writes on dating and relationships.He recommends the The Magic Of Making Up as the best way to handle a break up.
More infomation at WikipediaCoping With Breakups
Being alone after a break up is a challenge, especially at holiday time. Divorce or separation after a long relationship is the number two top life stressor following right behind being widowed. A severe loss can plunge you into depression and health problems. So do not let yourself go for several months without taking steps to recover. A UCLA study showed that being rejected activates one of the same areas of the brain as physical pain! The more ignored the people felt, the more activity they had in the anterior cingulate, which also registers physical distress. In other words, your pain is physiological. But research has also shown how you can recover from loss more quickly. Here are five tips that have helped many people turn this painful time into a whole new rebirth for themselves!
Tip 1. Spend Time with Close Friends
The same UCLA researchers found that spending time and sharing with close friends and offset the pain by causing the brain to release natural opioids, which are like the painkillers found in opium.
Tip 2. Use Anger As Fuel To Better Yourself
If you are feeling angry, channel it into kick boxing, lifting weights or cardio. Exercise lifts your mood and youths your body. You will de-stress, find more peace and sleep better! Give yourself a makeover. Initially thinking about how sorry your ex will be when he or she sees how fantastic you have become can be fuel for your rebirth. Make yourself more attractive and better inside and out.
Tip 3. Have A ‘New You’ Party
Invite your friends to come over for a ‘New You’ party where they help give you a makeover. Let them go through your clothes and accessories, getting rid of unflattering stuff and putting together some hot looks for the new you. Ask them for referrals to great hair salons or clothing shops. Find a look that makes you feel great. You can also have a big reveal party for yourself.
Tip 4. Get Out There and Date Off- & Online
Start as soon as possible, even if you don’t feel like it. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll move on. At this moment your chances of meeting the love of your life could be better than ever! The average marriage now lasts under seven years and this means new singles are coming on the scene all the time. Around sixteen million people are now using online dating. You don’t need to worry about getting into a rebound relationship: new research shows that people marrying on the rebound are no more likely to fail than those who wait. Not to worry if you are older: The American Association of Retired Persons found in a recent survey that 70 percent of single baby boomers are actively dating.
Tip 5. Meditation and Relaxation
Johns Hopkins researchers recommend practicing relaxation techniques to get rid of heartache. These include meditation, deep breathing or journaling out your feelings. Practice any or all of these techniques and you will bounce back from loss more rapidly.
You can learn much more about the latest research on and techniques for recovering from heartache in my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.
Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner, appeared on Oprah and is a frequent guest on the Today Show. For 25+ years she has helped thousands of single women find love. Her acclaimed new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum visit http://www.lovein90days.com
More infomation at Wikipedia